Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Teaser Tuesday

Hi everyone!

Well, I'm back with another "teaser" today but it's not from my middle-grade work-in-progress. No, this time it's a very brief snippet from one of 2 picture books that I'm working on. It's about a young duckling who, while out on a stroll with his family, gets separated from them as he tries to chase a rabbit.


From LITTLE DUCK DEVIN:


CR-U-N-N-N-CH! CR-U-N-N-N-CH! CR-U-N-N-N-CH!

Last in line behind his brothers and sisters, Little Duck Devin turned to see . . . a rabbit, munching on a carrot. It hopped right past him and his family. Little Duck Devin flew fast behind it.

WHOMP!

Little Duck Devin rubbed his beak. Where DID that rabbit go?

YIKES! What was THAT he heard? Oh! It was just his stomach grumbling! He waddled on until he came to . . .


WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH! A highway!

Little Duck Devin waddled and hopped, first this way, then that. But the cars and trucks zoomed right on by.

Would he ever see Mama and Molly and Holly and Tevin again?




I welcome any criticisms/suggestions/feedback as picture books are NOT my strong suit but I love the challenge of writing them anyway.

Thanks for reading, guys! :)


**Oh yes, if anyone's interested in reading the whole thing (about 5 pages), you are more than welcome. I'll swap you for another PB or a 1st chapter of your MG. Just shoot me an email! :)

19 comments:

Tess said...

I love the illiteration of Little Duck Devin. Very cute :D

And, I wish I had a pb to swap -- I've always considered writing one some day.

MG Higgins said...

PB's are not my genre either! Like Tess, I love the name Duck Devin. I am wondering why Devin follows the rabbit to begin with. For example, does it do something that makes Devin so curious that he just has to see where it's going/what it's doing?

Crystal said...

Thanks for stopping by, Tess! And hey, I think you probably could write one, too!


Hi MG! That's a good point you raised. I mainly had Devin chasing the rabbit out of plain curiosity. Hmmm . . . I may have to rethink this now! :)

Tabitha Bird said...

One of these days I am going to write me a picture book :) Devin duck is very cute :)

Crystal said...

Thanks, Tabitha! Yes, go ahead and try it! You never know . . . :)

Anna said...

I've never written a picture book, but I really like this. It sounds like it would be especially great to read aloud! :-)

Tamika: said...

Crystal, I love it. I have not written a picture, but what a gift you have.

Thanks for sharing!

Blessings to you...

Crystal said...

Anna--Yes, I'm hoping that this story will have that special read-aloud factor. Thanks so much for stopping by!

Tamika--Wow . . . I'm so humbled by your comments. Glad you like the story and much blessings back to you in all your writing endeavors! :)

Diane said...

I am in the process of writing a children's book series for grades 2-6 ish. Yours looks great! :O)

Crystal said...

Thanks, Diane! Good luck to you on your series! I've been thinking about doing one, too, for roughly grades 2-4. But I haven't really plunged into writing it yet because I've been trying to finish revisions on my middle grade w-i-p.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

Lady Glamis said...

Oh my goodness this is so CUTE! You've got a talent. I could not do picture books at all. I was reading to my daughter the other night and thought, wow, these people are creative! So go you!

One of my main characters in my book is named Devan. I don't think of him as a duck, though. Hehehe. :D

Crystal said...

Thank you so much, Lady Glamis! I don't know if I have a real talent for picture books but I am definitely trying! :)

You've got a Devan character, too? Hmmm . . . well, at least yours is human! :)

Robyn Campbell said...

Crystal, I finally got the comment thing to work. HUZZAH! I'll critique for you. You know I write picture books. I sent you an email. Great job my friend! :)

Crystal said...

Thanks, Robyn! I will check my email NOW! :)

Sharon Mayhew said...

Crystal,
It's very cute. I love the alliteration and the onemonepia (sp?). It's a bit scary where you leave off. I hope he's safe on the next page.

I'd do a swap with you. I'm one of Tess's writing buddies from Chautauqua. I've only had one story published in a magazine. If I'm not experienced enough for you, I'll understand.

skmayh@q.com

Crystal said...

Hi Sharon! It would be great to do a swap. And don't worry about being published . . . at least you've had something published! That's a great accomplishment! :)

Thanks so much for stopping by 7 reading my little excerpt! I'll contact you soon.

Shelli said...

love the cute name!

Deb Markanton said...

Crystal, fantastic! I've nominated you for an award over at my blog. Thanks for your wonderful blog!

Crystal said...

Wow! Thanks, Deb! I'm hopping over to your blog ASAP . . . :)

And thanks for stopping by, Shelli!